—THE ADVENTURES OF POTATOMAN— EP 1 Part 1:The Beginning

It was 10pm at the potato peeling factory, they were packing up for the night. Ryan Daniel was rolling around on the floor when he accidently rolled off the edge of a hill. He went rolling down… ARGHARARGGHR ARGHRAR. He rolled straight down into the potato peeling factory. Just as he was about to get up… The factory exploded in a great big potatoe explosion! BOOM! Ryan was covered in mashed potato and seemingly dead.

shake, squelch, splat, fwoosh, Ryan rolled out of the pile of mashed and destroyed potato. The potato had somehow gotten into his bloodstream clinging to his red and white blood cells mutating them into potato like cells which spread like wildfire through his cellular system mutating everything else like cancer.

*I’m sorry to any people with cancer out there, cancer is a serious problem and not at all… tumorous… budum tsssst!* *sorry, again*

And Potato-Man was born!

–MEANWHILE–

Bob Sandwich was a factory worker at the mashed yam factory. But with a masters degree in Physics & Chemistry on his belt, he was quite disappointed with himself, but more angry than anything, angry at everyone, at the system. as he was thinking about this he accidently missed something important going down the conveyor, a chunk of rock was stuck in a yam, and because he missed it, the rock went into the masher and messed some shit up, *clink* *clank* *Chink* *rumble* *rumble* *rumble* *chink*… BOOOOOOOOOM!

—TO BE CONTINUED—

apples

New Server

Ok so i have been setting up a server for a while now, and i would just like to state it and the rules/setup behind it.

Setup:

  • Modded – The server is modded so if you want to join you must have the attached to this post.
  • Version – The version of this server is v1.6.4
  • Join – For now i must know you, i don’t want to open to the public for now, i might later, it’s unlikely but maybe.
  • This is just a fun server for my friends and i right now. I am just making this to send my friends to it(i think)
  • Hamachi – For now it is setup with Logmein Hamachi, i will be setting it up with port map later on. the hamachi network is: Name: Server-Grimid Password: 123
  • IP: 25.9.35.35
  • Whitelisted – for now because i just said the ip, so anyone can join if not.
  • Oplist – the oplist will be who ever the hell i like xD

Rules:

  1. There are no rules!
  2. Except for what i say at the time xD

apples

The Reality of Santa Clause

Santa Clause… the guy who brings children around the world presents and gifts and EATS ALL OF YOUR DAMN COOKIES! This is an post about making everybody realise the reality behind Santa Clause.

1. Santa clause is an oppressor meaning he does want you or in some cases let you feel emotions as said. “You better not shout, You better not cry, You better pout i’m telling you why.” if you feel emotions and shout, cry or pout, he will put coal in your stockings.

2. Santa Clause is a stalker. “He sees you when your sleeping, He knows when your awake.”

3. Santa Clause wheres red and white only because Coca-Cola bought santa clause and made him that colour for advertisement.

4. Santa Clause is cruel to the reindeers forcing them to pull his fat ass in a giant red sleigh full of presents witch could be an xbox, ps4, bicycle or a television. it could be anything it could be a frickin fridge.

5. Santa is how Satan spells his name on Christmas.

So that is the reality behind Santa Clause.

 

Sincerely,

Ronin Davis

close a blog with this

Books, Books and More Books

Recently I have been visited by my dear friend whom I must not speak of his name for purposes beyond my comprehension. Now this young fellow is an author himself and he was stopping by to take a look and see if I had been doing any writing that he could help me with, sadly I had not. But determined, my friend insisted that I looked through all of my devices to find any sort of writing. Luckily i had done something with another friend of mine a few years back. A sort of… Role play? i don’t know know, but anyhow i had done it and that is that. Now this piece of writing was small, sort of like a children’s book but good enough for him.

So he contacted his editor and asked her to edit the piece of writing, she agreed and he sent it over and it may possibly be published sometime next year, now that is only a possibility, it may never happen but there is a chance so wish me luck. i may be in the writing business soon.

 

Sincerely, Ronin Davis

Image

The Mystery Mansion

It was a dark and stormy night. A girl named Haldrissa was running home. She ran through the rain as a cold breeze shifted around her. She was drenched (in rain), but if she tried to wipe it off it just appeared again. Before she knew it, she stumbled upon a house. Not a house actually, but a mansion…the mansion looks old. She knocked on the door. No one answered. She walked inside. The door was unlocked but why? Haldrissa took off her completely drenched coat, and saw that the mansion was deserted. She did not know why, but she had an urge to yell out “Hello?”. The door was unlocked, strangely, and everything was covered in dust. She was also oddly tired. She walked up stairs where she found two bedrooms. She went into the first one. It had a lovely king sized bed. She lay down as her eyes closed more and more…. Suddenly, she heard a scream coming from down stairs. Her eyes widened. What was going on?! She hurried down stairs, to see a boy screaming as something pulled him into one of the wardrobes. She rushed to help him, but she was too late. He had already been locked in the wardrobe. She ran over to the wardrobe and tried to open it, but it was locked. She saw a sword, now desperately trying to help the boy, and took it off a rack. Surprisingly, the wardrobe suddenly moved to the right. It had revealed a secret passage! She went into the secret passage and found an armoury. She saw swords, battleaxe and armour to the max there was another door. As she walked through it, she heard another scream from behind another door. “The little boy!” Haldrissa managed to gasp. She went through the tunnel, to find green stuff everywhere. It was sticky. She saw a giant spider wrapping a little boy up with silk. Before thinking, she charged forward, holding a sword in hand. She thrusted at the beast, dodged and ran with the boy in hand as she charged after it.
—————–MEANWHILE——————
Harry thought deeply. He thought that somebody actually heard his screams, but to his surprise a 10 year old wielding a sword was chasing after the spider. He thought how heavy it must be. The giant spider had stopped wrapping him when she appeared. He was half covered with webs, but that would change soon. Oh yes, so soon. The boy struggled, screaming and writhing as the 10 year old girl charged forward. The spider hissed as the boy struggled. He watched, wide-eyed, as the girl stuck the sword into the spider’s heart. The spider shrieked, collapsing on its eight legs. Though after its death a strong breeze came in, pushing them back to the start of the tunnel, then it disappeared. The girl put down the sword slowly, as it was heavy, and she wasn’t used to it. “Hi there” he heard her whisper. He replied “Uhhh… Hi.” As the girl unwrapped the webs from him with the sword acting as a knife to cut the webs, he grew oddly tired. He wanted to go into a bed somewhere to rest, as his day has been tiring. He gasped out, “Thank you,” and they began to rush out of the tunnel. They got out of the tunnel and the wardrobe slid back into place. They heard weird noises, like someone that was past there time, they saw glowing beings: ghosts! Both of the children shrieked but the ghosts said, “No need to be afraid, we are the ghosts of this mansion. You have freed us by killing the beast that has remanned here for centuries, until now, and for that we grant you the powers of Gaia.”
“The powers of Gaia? What do they do?” Haldrissa blurted out. “Oh, and thank you.” She added. They replied “Gaia is the Greek Goddess of the Earth you will be granted to speak with her, whenever you wish, with this magic mirror, and the powers of mirror are of healing. As for the boy, you get granted (we grant you) the powers of Hercules with strength and bravery.”
————MEANWHILE————
Haldrissa was shocked. Does this mean she has the power of earth at her side? As if to correct herself, her mind rumbled, “no, but Gaia does. And if you ask her, then she will use her powers for you. And she may if you are in danger.” She thought to herself, “but I’ve always been wanting to be a warrior”… As she was deep in thought, the boy said “Hey! We should find if any other things are cursing this place! Some ghosts may still be trapped!” Stunned, she replied quietly “True, true. I’ll hurry, then” She rushed around, more tired than ever. Her muscles were tense, and her mind was scattered. If there was only a time to sleep! She accidentally stepped on a old pressure plate, and they heard something opened up stairs. She and the boy ran upstairs quickly, only to find the bedroom had disappeared… and with it a new cave appeared! The cave looked slimy and dark, but they continued on. There was a sudden breeze as they turned around. As slime dripped on them, they saw some kind of yeti like beast drooling all over them with cold hands clutching them. They shrieked and ran as the beast ran after them they see that the cave keeps on going. Haldrissa suddenly stopped. She dropped her sword and shrieked as the yeti grabbed her by her leg, holding her upside down. With her free leg she kicked as hard as she could. The yeti shrieked and put one hand on his nose. His eyes flared with rage and anger. Suddenly, a big rock started floating, and it launched itself over at the yeti. The yeti gaped. The boy clung onto the yeti, and gulped. Harry slapped the yeti and said “No Ruphus, naughty, she’s a friend” The girl just stared. She didn’t have much to do. The boy said “What?” and then directed his attention back to the beast saying, “let her down, there’s a good boy”. As the beast let Haldrissa down, “Errrr… Do you know this thing?” she asked bluntly. She went to pet it, but in her mind she was growling at it. He said “HIS, name is Ruphus. I found him in the dumpster near this haunted mansion.” She replied “Okaaay”, and then rushed out of the cave with Harry and Ruphus. “Oh I’m sorry, I haven’t introduced myself yet.” She suddenly whispered. She then said “I’m Haldrissa, what’s your name?”
“My name is Harry”. They continued, and Haldrissa got her now-dried coat. She put it on, and said farewell, because she was absolutely exhausted and she was done with staying here. Harry also left. They were done there. Haldrissa ran home, rushed into her room, and slept immediately after she got on the bed, having dreams about her journey.
-THE END-

Napoleon Bonaparte

Napoleon was born 15th of August 1769, on the Mediterranean island of Corsica. Napoleon’s military career began at the age of 9.  He graduated from Paris’s prestigious military school in 1785 and was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Artillery, where he quickly rose ranking after the outbreak of the French Revolution in 1789.

In late 1793, Napoleon was sent to the navel ports of Toolon which had rebelled against the French Government and joined the British. Lieutenant Colonel Bonaparte forced the British ships out of the port and as the assault followed, the city was recaptured. Napoleon was promoted to Brigadier General.

In 1795 an armed mob of Royalists tried to overthrow the French Government. Napoleon was put in charge of the defensive force and successfully crushed the insurgents. This triumph won him money, fame and support of the government. Within weeks he was romantically linked with society star, Josephine Beauhanais and in 1796  they were married.

Just days after his wedding, he successfully lead an invasion of Italy. The attack introduced a new era of French Empire building and gave Napoleon a taste of victory.

Military success continued through 1797 as Austria was defeated and Belgium, Holland and The Rhineland became part of The French Empire. Not content with these victories, Napoleon invaded Venice and broke more than 1,000 years of Venetian independence, robbing the city of many of its art treasures.

In 1798, Napoleon invaded Egypt, defeating the Egyptian army and capturing the capital, Cairo. However, the success on land was not matched at sea and British Admiral, Horatio Nelson, annihilated the French ships at the battle of the Nile. Napoleon escaped to France.

With France threatened by enemies both North and South and the government turning against him, Napoleon staged a coup and made himself First Consel, the most powerful man in France. The new First Consel again defeated the Austrians and France was saved. In 1804, Napoleon crowned himself Emporer and Britain, Austria, Russia and Sweden joined together in an attempt to defeat him.

In 1805, Admiral Nelson again inflicts defeat on the French off cape Trafalga. Undeterred, Napoleon gathered 200,000 men and fought a brilliant campaign against the Austrians and the Russians, eventually capturing the Austrian capital, Vienna. In perhaps his finest battle and tactical masterpiece, he beat the combined Austro-Russions in December 1805. And then 10 months later he smashed Russia and occupied Berlin.

He was now the virtual ruler of Central and Western Europe. Only one country still defied him, Britain. So Napoleon banned all European trade with Britain. Napoleon’s successful conquest of Europe continued with the Invasion of Spain in 1808. Having put his brother on the throne, he returned to France instructing his Generals to invade Portugal. After another victory agains Austria, Napoleon married Austrian Arch Duchess, Marie Louise in 1810.

The war he had started in Spain and Portugal raged on until the British Duke of Wellington managed to defeat the French Army and end Napoleon’s hold over the region. In 1812, Napoleon made his gravest mistake. He invaded Russia. Although he took Moscow, the French, like the Nazis 130 years later, were unprepared for the Russian winter. Napoleon retreated with the loss of 300,000 men.

In 1813 Russia, Austria and Britain closed in on the French Emperor, forcing him back to France. In November, Napoleon rejected peace offers so the allies invaded. Paris fell in March 1814 and in April Napoleon was exhiled to the Mediterranean island of Elba. Less than 12 months later, Napoleon, having escaped, resumed power and gathered an army. Once again, the allies prepared to attack.

Nearby in Belgium was Napoleon’s Arch Nemesis, the Duke of Wellington. On 18th June, Napoleon attacked Wellington at Waterloo but he was unable to repeat his earlier success and the French collapsed. This time Napoleon was imprisoned on the remote Atlantic island of Saint Helena and he died May 5th, 1821.